Sometimes I wonder why I keep paying for this blog site. I don’t post very often and mostly no one reads it. But every once in a while I am reminded that I have something to say – even if only to myself. I have a lot of thoughts about that having recently read Louise Penny’s 1st book in which one of the detectives sees a mirror, in the bathroom a victim’s house, with a note taped to it. The note says: You are looking at the problem. The detective is sooo self involved that she is unable to connect that cryptic message to herself. Ironic, no? I could go on about this but it’s not what I came her for. Also, I had a conversation with a friend about gratitude and I am reading a book in which the main character reminds me of myself and it’s not flattering. I told you that to tell you this:
I came to say Thank You.
I know but continually forget that gratitude improves one’s life. My ego-nature is to notice what’s painful or wrong or disgusting or negative in any way and focus on that. I have become aware that my shadow self is actually grateful – but I seldom express that gratitude. And I have soooo much to be grateful for. Right now I am grateful for the realization that my true self is grateful – especially compared to my ego self. I would rather my true self be out there than my ego self. I am grateful for the realization that I will feel and be better if I make a point of expressing gratitude regularly – even if only to myself though it would be better to let others know that I am grateful. That causes ripples, you know?
I have actually made this effort before but I quit after a year because I had met my goal of doing it for a year. That’s like an alcoholic starting to drink again when he gets his AA 100 day pin. The effort was lost and now you’re worse off than you were before. I have to work the program; not self righteously but humbly, having surrendered to the higher power of gratitude. I recognize that I am powerless over my ego self but that gratitude can help to manage it.
Thank You.
Camel Through the Eye 