Many years ago several college friends and I went on an all night pot fueled crawl around Spokane. We wandered down and up deserted streets, climbed through brush up the South Hill, made our way to Cliff Park just in time to see the dawn. I was pretty repressed in those days so when my friends all proceeded to proclaim their awe at the sunrise, I was trying to understand what that was all about. Later, as we were nearing our campus, still pretty early with few cars on the road, they again hallelujahed the cloud formations that crossed over the sky, complementing the rising sun. What I became aware of was that they had learned to see beauty and to find joy in it and to express admiration for it – and I had not.
I didn’t try to figure out why I was unable to appreciate the beauty (that would come a lot later) but I knew that I needed to open up to the beauty and joy of the world. It’s been a long hard road. I thought I had become pretty good at it until I met my wife a few years ago. Openness to the beauty and joy of the world is her life style and I have turned out to be a downer for her – at least sometimes. But I have learned how much more free and alive I could be if I could grow in appreciation of the beauty of the world; allow myself to see it, to hear it, to feel it – even in that which I do not like. Now there’s a task I was not cut out for but I’m working at it just the same.
I can tell you that it’s a loving, living circle of awareness breeding gratitude breeding more awareness… I will never reach the level of profligate gratitude and joy that Patty has. What I have learned, though, in working at it, is that I am able to share my appreciation of others, who may value it even more coming from someone who’s pretty stingy with compliments. To see their faces break into a smile or even a grin at being appreciated makes my day – and I want more of that.
PEACE and LOVEYA,
RON
Camel Through the Eye 