We all start out as children – infants, you know? Some of us remain that way for a variety of reasons, mostly not of our thoughtful choosing. I believe that the trajectory of my life would have been to remain an infant but I became motivated, also by a variety of things, people and events to grow, develop, evolve. I did make a thoughtful choice, at least as much of a thoughtful choice as a seven year old is capable of.

Without going into what at this point are needless details I had a revelation or an epiphany as a seven year old that I have come to believe has guided my life for seventy years now. Heavy business for a seven year old.

St. Joseph’s grade school, Butte, Montana is where this occurred. Second grade students were preparing for first communion but prior to that we had to prepare for first confession. Mostly we recognize that as a joke these days because what sins can a seven year old commit? Different times. Anyway Sr. Andrea was from Hawaii. She was young and pretty well educated even compared to some of the older sisters and she had had a good taste of current theology. Lucky for me because I was a kid who really thought that you had to obey all the rules and those who made the rules or you were in deep trouble.

At the end of the unit on the sacrament of confession (reconciliation, these days) Sr. Andrea said the words that changed my life. “If you do something that, your conscience tells you is right, not sinful; even if the Bishop or the Pope says it is sinful, it is not. Of course, you have to have an informed conscience” (the kicker.) Boy did that set me free – to inform my conscience but also to not worry about or even necessarily believe what the powers that be may convict me of.

Over the years, again for a variety of reason, I have been an autodidact at informing my conscience. I believe that this is part of a continuing epiphany that led to philosophy, psychology and then theology as a student and counselor and then chaplain. My studies, both formal and informal led me to a lot of ideas that seemed out of sync with Catholic/ christian ideas. But I have been reading Joseph Ratzinger’s book INTRODUCTION TO CHRISTIANITY which starts at the beginning of Christian history and explains the ideas that we currently call dogma in a way that confirms the things I have come to believe. Gotta say: I am grateful for having been led to the book by my colleague, Jacob, and to Cardinal Ratzinger for his brilliant mind and explication of Christian beliefs and how we came to them and what it means to us..