So I have asked Leroy and Dan to update me, for the blog, on how the Ayahuasca experience is playing out in their lives. Dan generally says that he doesn’t notice much difference. And who am I to question that? But I mentioned this to his sister who said that she had noticed that since returning from Panama, Dan has been posting more selfies on instagram, facebook, etc. I think that that is an interesting change so I asked Dan about it. He says that Mama Aya told him that he is good looking and that he ought to share that and believe in it. Huh, I say. Isn’t that a significant post Ayahuasca development? Dan shrugs it off. Who am I to question that?
Despite the cold and snow and the seemingly infinite process of snow removal things keep breaking loose for me. It’s a good journey, but also a difficult trek. I sometimes think of it as being similar to Frodo’s journey to Mt. Doom, carrying this burden that he had gladly accepted while not understanding the real nature of the burden and what it would do to him, how it would change him. Of course, this is true for all journeys and for all the burdens that we carry because there is the spiritual part of every human journey that is human life. There is the goal of dropping that burdensome load into the fire and then there is the goal of becoming the person we are meant to be. What most of us don’t understand that the temptations do not go away as we come closer to our goals the temptations become more powerful and insidious. It is significant that Gollum had to bite Frodo’s finger off in order for Frodo to finally accomplish what he set out to do. And though it seems so mundane, the most important thing that happened for Frodo is that he had a good and faithful friend, Sam (Samwise) who helped Frodo rise to the needs of the journey. Don’t we all need those people who encourage us to our best selves? Don’t we all need people who see in us the things we can’t see, both good and bad, and are willing and able to confront us with those qualities?
The deep and deeply personal things that I have been learning about myself have haunted me all my life. I did not think about my problems that way nor did I think about my coping mechanisms as being dysfunctional. It is a lot like getting sick, though: you are well until you know that you have symptoms. In reality the sickness was there long before the symptoms showed up. It’s better to know what is bugging us so that we can treat it before there are symptoms than to treat and then recover and then restart the process of living healthily. I’m not sure the last sentence makes a lot of sense to anyone but me. Good enough. So I will end by saying that I am very grateful for having had the chance to meet Mama Aya and to learn what she had/has to teach me.