It’s been a long time

mJNaH+3PQkyrgazX3xhbdgThat’s a picture of Spokane Falls from the north suspension bridge. It is kind of a symbol for where I am at these days. I have not posted to the blog for a long time because the processing of one’s life can be a complex series of events, understandings, insights that have to be put together like a 3d puzzle of flesh and blood. There’s a lot of crashing around rocks, vapor rising, noise and tumult but eventually as you observe the phenomenon for a while you begin to see patterns and then to know better what is happening in your life.

I knew that Mama Aya would be working in the background of my mind, helping me to see things differently, opening me up to knew possibilities. Considering what she had to work with it’s a wonder that things have moved at all. But I have, through my reading, prayer and meditation and talking to friends been able to open up to things in new ways and to embrace new ideas, and people. I have come to understand that some of my stuckness began when I was only a toddler. Lots of drama in the family at that time – no one to blame really – just life working itself out in the people that God had provided me with. But I had to protect my young psyche from an early age. Discovering that was due to Mama Aya’s help during the second ceremony. Learning that has freed me up to begin the process of healing, learning to trust. And in order to do that, God had to bring someone into my life that Mama Aya could show me how to trust and share with in a new way.

That person walked into my life about three months ago and though we got off to a pretty slow start (I am real slow on the uptake – thus the need for a lot of processing time) through Patty’s openness to my confusion, I have been able to take some steps in trusting and openness that I have not been able to do before. I am so grateful, so blessed. Lots of work to do but it’s the work I have wanted to do all my life. It wasn’t even possible until I encountered Mama Aya. So… Thank You Mama Aya. Thank You God. Thank you YdqbaMPMSnWl9rePLMzDUwPatty.

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